Title: This Feeling That Remains
Pairing: Dis/Canonical Wife
Summary: Bala moved to the Blue Mountains when she was a hundred, and very quickly fell beard-over-boots in love with the princess of Erebor—and was thoroughly shocked when the feeling appeared to be mutual.
FINALLY IT’S HERE.
Title: Golden Beauty
Pairing: Dis/Bala (OFC)
Summary: Dís and her wife braid their beards in preparation for a formal ceremony, along with cute baby Fili.
First of my Femslash February prompts! This one is from ophiucha, who asked for beard braiding. Hope to have a few more (and, um, maybe the main fic…?) up in the next few days. :)
anon asked: Lavender/Parvati, Lavender becomes a werewolf!
i made it into an established relationship, to work with the way i wanted this to go… hope you don’t mind!! ;D
Her hand is cold, Parvati notes as she holds it between her own two hands, gently rubbing soothing circles with her thumb across her friend’s pale skin. It’s not ice cold, however, nothing dangerous, otherwise Madame Pomfrey would have been over by now.
'Wake up, Lavender.' She mutters, squeezing the hand of her best friend once more, hoping it warms up, hoping she wakes up. She needs to wake up. Parvati knows that if Lavender wakes up, she’s going to have to deal with the news of telling her… telling her she’s a werewolf, but she’d take that any day. She’d rather tell her friend she was a werewolf, than never see her wake up.
femslash february challenge, a science fiction pairing
"Do you think about me when I’m gone?" Avice asked.
Ehrsul did think about her, if one could classify her turingware as a mind and her processing as thoughts. She thought about the decay of Embassytown and the addiction of the Hosts and the part Avice played as their similie.
Her internal calendar marked the minutes her friend, a title she wouldn’t use herself but accepted when Avice bestowed it upon her, was in danger, the moments her thoughts were used by the creatures with two mouths that could not speak. Ariekei and the autom who could never connect, but both tied to this human woman.
The parts of her memory that stored their stolen kisses were accessed and replayed in her mind before she rebooted for her system updates. Kisses against her display shaped into the face Avice was most fond of - she’d kept this face longer than most, used it more often than any other.
Ehrsul calculated the distance between them as Embassytown was torn apart. She pondered over their odds as Avice’s marriage fell apart, like the relationships that came before him. After him.
She thinks about Avice while she’s gone, more than is beneficial to her functionality and in ways and in numbers that Avice couldn’t comprehend. That could be her answer, in a voice toned to sound sarcastic and calculated, but those words didn’t convey the artificial feelings added by a chip in her turingware.
So instead, she answered:
"Does it matter?"
Hermione x Pansy, Draco x Harry
[M, wordcount 11614, Ao3, oneshot]Hermione isn’t pleased to learn that Harry and Draco have a new house guest. There is just something about Pansy Parkinson that drives Hermione crazy.
genre: post Hogwarts, UST, romance, domestic Drarry
warnings: minor sexual content
Summary: Both Carlos and Cecil are keeping secrets. Carlos dismisses his own in light of the theory that his boyfriend is more than what he appears. As with any theory, it bears investigation.
Rating: G with mentions of making out and body horror near the end.
Word Count: 3771
Author’s Notes: Operating on my own headcanons for Cecil and Carlos- but then, who isn’t?
Carlos was fairly certain, though he couldn’t explain how, that Cecil Baldwin wasn’t quite human.
He wasn’t sure how he was certain, of course. After all, there were far stranger things in Night Vale than the radio show host. But there was definitely something incredibly off about Cecil. It wasn’t his eyes, how they were blue and hypnotic and so very blue. It wasn’t how, despite being a man of average height and weight (and everything about Cecil, really, was painstakingly average, in a good way) Cecil managed to look like he’d been stretched through a taffy puller, as though there was something in him just barely holding him up. It probably had something to do with how he was incredibly pale, for a man that lived in a desert community and was an upstanding member of such, and he definitely didn’t blush a healthy shade of red when flustered, but a kind of off-purple. Even that, though, wasn’t quite it.
alright you ao3 bastards listen up
ain’t no one give a fuck about a lack of fanfic realism in fanfic porn. ain’t no one wanna read your how-to lesson plan of buttfuckin for fellow fandomites thinly disguised as fic
do you know the hell i went though
son, i’ve been in fandom since 1998. i’ve been in the battle trenches of fanfic porn since 2000. ~yaoi~ used to have no buttsex at all, and then it had magic glide-in buttsex and self-lubricating buttholes and actual phrases like “boypussy” ok that was a real thing
2013 is like a renaissance of pretend sex man
now we have condoms and lube and fingering not necessarily as a preparatory act and buttholes actually get called buttholes
be grateful you little shits
does anybody else just say “no” out loud in a deadpan voice as they exit out of bad fic or is that just me
i am looking forward to “elementary” but mostly i am looking forward to seeing what a fandom built largely upon spite will be like
some interesting fanfiction i’ll tell you what: “and then sherlock placed his lips upon joan’s, who was a woman and also lucy liu. and they kissed. with tongues. neither of them were benedict cumberbatch at all.”